When I entered my 20’s, I believed that childishness would just magically disappear from the people I know. I believed that the people I surrounded myself with would be like, “hey, I’m a legit adult now, maybe I should stop fucking shit up for no reason.”
I’m 22 now and I can honestly say that people are just as childish as they were back in grade 9, and the only difference is that now they have this frame of mind where they think fucking around is justified because maybe they own an apartment, or they have a steady job, etc etc.
I try to base many things off of honesty, loyalty, and respect.
especially if you love someone. It’s truly hard for me to love people. I came from a type of environment where my guard always had to be up and I quickly realized not everyone should be loved by me. But when I do love, it’s almost suffocating because I just have so much of it to give and it all just comes spilling out uncontrollably like, “YES, FINALLY I CAN BE A FUCKING HUMAN WITH A WONDERFUL HUMAN EMOTION!”
Right now, I only love a handful of people unconditionally. And right now, there are a handful of people trying to pry me apart from one of the few people I love and it’s bothering the shit out of me.
I’m an overthinker, and this type of behaviour from people truly gets me down. I’ll think about it and think about it and think about it because I just have to think of every possibly angle, every possible situation, and every possible move that I can make before I decide if it’s something I let affect my life.
But people are selfish and they don’t care whether their shitty behaviour ruins your day or your outlook on life because it’s not their life.
It kind of sucks when you want to speak up about something that’s bothering you, but you don’t want to say anything because you don’t want to lose a certain someone, start an argument or…..just come off as someone who’s naggy & needy.